Take Responsibility for Your Emotions
I always advise my clients that being able to self-regulate is vital for relationship satisfaction. Rather than expecting your partner to improve your moods, take responsibility for your own emotions. This takes pressure off your significant other to “fix” things.
This is especially important during conflict. Blaming your partner or expecting them to make everything better typically backfires. I’ve found that clients see the most improvement when focusing on self-growth rather than trying to change their partner.
So when you’re upset, calmly communicate how you feel using “I statements” rather than accusatory “you statements.” Take space if needed but come back to the issue with a level head. Practicing self-soothing techniques like deep breathing can help you stay grounded, too.
Share Chores and Responsibilities
An easy way to convey love and support is by lightening your partner’s load. Identify tasks that stress them out or take up their precious time. Then, chip away at their to-do list wherever possible, even if you have a full plate already.
I once had a client whose wife felt perpetually overwhelmed by household duties on top of her job. He started tackling chores like laundry, grocery shopping and making the kids’ lunches. His wife was astounded by his initiative, saying she finally felt like his equal partner.
Sharing duties makes your significant other feel deeply appreciated. So regularly ask yourself, “What can I take off my partner’s plate today?” It can be small things like doing the dishes or larger efforts like planning date nights. Either way, it communicates love through action.