2. Lack of Compromise
Compromise is essential for a relationship to thrive long-term. You and your partner won’t always see eye-to-eye — and that’s okay. The key is being able to communicate, listen to each other’s perspectives, and find solutions that work for both of you.
I’ve worked with couples where one partner refuses to compromise, insisting on getting their way in decisions big and small. This rigidity can stem from immaturity or an unwillingness to empathize with their partner’s needs. It creates an unhealthy power dynamic that leads to resentment.
I once counseled a couple where the wife wanted to buy a vacation home but the husband insisted all extra income should go towards retirement savings. She refused to consider any middle ground, like saving a portion for retirement while allocating some for a down payment. Her inflexibility put a huge strain on the marriage.
A healthy relationship requires give and take on both sides. If one partner consistently digs in their heels, it’s a major red flag. Address it by having an open discussion focused on understanding each other’s priorities. With work, compromise is possible. But if they remain stubbornly rigid, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
3. Disrespectful Communication
The third big red flag I tell clients to watch for is communication that feels disrespectful or hurts your self-esteem. This could include insults, belittling comments, criticism that feels more destructive than constructive, or hurtfully sarcastic humor.
Disrespect manifests differently from couple to couple. For some, it may show up as dismissiveness, like ignoring opinions or making “jokes” that mock accomplishments and goals. Other times, it’s more overt cruelty in the form of verbal abuse.
A client of mine began dating someone who constantly made biting, sarcastic jokes targeting her insecurities. She tried to laugh it off at first until she realized how much it was affecting her self-confidence. That type of hurtful humor signaled deeper issues with meanness and a lack of empathy.
Our partners should make us feel loved, supported, and empowered — never the opposite. Though sometimes unintended, consistent disrespectful communication must be addressed. Explain how their words affect you and set clear boundaries. If their harmful behavior continues, it may be time to let go. You deserve to feel valued.