Let Yourself Grieve
Grieving is essential. By allowing yourself to fully process the sadness, confusion, anger and pain, you give your wounded heart the space it needs to mend. Cry into your pillow, pour your feelings into a journal, scream into an abyss—do whatever helps you release the pent-up emotions so that you can slowly start feeling lighter.
Just don’t get stuck in grieving mode, which happens easily when focusing exclusively on what you lost. Also celebrate what you gained from the relationship, like meaningful memories and important life lessons. This balanced perspective is key.
Don’t Dwell on the Past
As you grieve, be vigilant not to spiral down the rabbit hole of retrospective rumination about your time together. Wondering what exactly went wrong or what you could have done differently leads nowhere positive. The relationship ended, period. Dwelling on the past will only trap you there, unable to move forward.
When those guilt-ridden thoughts creep in, consciously redirect your mind to the present. Notice your surroundings using all five senses, repeat affirmations of self-love or turn on some upbeat music to shift your state—anything to avoid fixating on the rearview mirror.
Remove Physical Reminders
Out of sight, out of mind is the motto here. Having visual cues like photos, love letters and gifts from your beloved everywhere only pours salt on the wound, making it near impossible to forget them.
As one of my clients did, consider packing up mementos and stowing them away rather than discarding them entirely. That way, you honor the meaningful moments you shared without the constant painful reminders.
Creating physical distance is key in establishing emotional distance from the one you love. This clears vital space for you to heal and let go.